You Know What? I Really Like Not Training!

Today is day 9 after my big bike accident and honestly, I don't really miss training that much. Everyone has been super supportive and concerned for me. I really appreciate them for that. There words of encouragement involved stuff like, "You will be back on your bike before you know it", "You can do some weights now to increase your strength for when you return to training", and "Now you can properly have a rest week to let things recover so that when you come back, you will be even stronger." All of these words of encouragement are heart-felt but truthfully, I am enjoying myself so much doing the other hobbies I used to do before training I don't miss it all that much.

I am still actively involved in triathlon however, but in a more indirect way. Currently I have decided to volunteer to be the running coach for the NMSU Race Club. Last year was fun but there seemed to be no structure in the workouts or meaning behind them. I am looking forward to creating the ultimate 5 and 10K running calendar. I am confident that I can get everyone in the club to take big chunks off of there current 5 and 10K PR's. Yak yak yak. We will see.

The other day Taylor and I went to the Home Depot for some minor supplies and I passionately stumbled on some amazing Cattelya and Vanda orchids for sale. Yes you heard me correctly, Vanda orchids, the most exotic and beautiful of all the orchids as far as I am concerned. Remembering my obsession for these rare and gorgeous plants I bought one of each. I didn't care if I spent my last dollar on them, I just had to have them to play with. I also bought some tropicals and a nice palm for the tropical garden that is coming together nicely. Next I might get a fountain of some sorts.


Vanda coeurlea 'Blue Magic'

At Barns and Nobles I bought a sketch journal and am excited to start drawing and sketching again. I am pretty rusty with my hand eye coordination after 6 years off but it will come around. And if it doesn't oh well, I am fired up to start intimately observing the world around me once again.

Also, our yard is starting to finally come together and the plants and grass are growing madly because of the little bit of water they are receiving. In the desert, if a plant so much as "senses" moisture it puts on the most dramatic display of growth ever. All this growth persuaded me to buy a push mower (which not only works better than a motorized mower, but is way more fun to operate). And then last night I caught a baby gecko! Yes our yard it becoming so much of an oasis that the lizards and geckos are having babies!

Oh, and I guess I can give a brief update on the chin and rib. So I had my stitches taken out yesterday. That was nice. My scab came off. That was even nicer and way to satisfying. My rib still aches pretty bad but it is, for the most part, getting better (slooooooooowly though). I think I may have broken more than just one rib while I'm talking about it. I for sure brok the number 9 rib but a rib more on the side and up a few ribs feels very achey and bruised too. I should get the x-ray so I can have a look for myself.

Emotion

What are emotions? Why do we feel? What evolutionary advantage has being able to feel given mankind? Why are some able to control their emotions while others let theirs run amok? I have wondered about these questions for just about my whole life but the last several days they have particularly been fresh on my mind.

I have never been truly emotionally strong. It is just the brain I was dealt I guess and I do the best I can. For years my parents wondered why I cried and was sad so often. It wasn't surprising that later on I was diagnosed with depression. It all made sense. My mother had it, my grandmother had it, and my great grandmother had it. It is unquestionably scattered throughout my whole family. I was just one of the lucky receivers of the "faulty" gene. Doctors though that perhaps by taking a simple pill once a day could solve most of my symptoms. Well it worked and mostly, I am a happy person who takes great pleasure in life. I remembered how awful feeling sad and depressed was and I never wanted to go back.

Obviously I am not happy and energetic all of the time. Like everyone I get sad, mad, angry, and irritated. I know I can not help the way I feel but I CAN help how I treat others. No matter how badly I want to punch or yell at people sometimes, I don't. I have self control. If I can do it, I assume others can too. Maybe I am being self-absorbed because, again, as I see it, if I can do it, anyone can. I'm not talking about climbing Mt. Everest, or solving String Theory, just plain old self control. Am I wrong?

I have only been emotionally involved with two people in my life and both of them had some trouble (my point of view) keeping their mood stable. Are all people (particularly girls) really that emotionally unstable? I don't have much experience to base my theory off of but I am not like that at all, even though I have been clinically diagnosed with depression. Why am I able to keep my emotions on a relatively controlled leash while others let theirs run wild and rampant? I just don't get it. Up down up down up down, Let's ride the roller coaster again. I am getting sick.

Maybe it's for the Better

Today is day three after my bike wreck and I have been thinking a lot about stuff. Instead of the train-a-holic most people view me as I have had several days now to sit and just think about things. Before I get to my thoughts I will share a little update on how my injuries are progressing.

This morning getting out of bed was still quite painful but not as painful as the first morning. However, I wouldn't say that this morning was any less painful than yesterday. Maybe that's because yesterday I took a fair amount of Vicoden. Anyway, I can't hardly feel my chin and it's stitches anymore, which is nice, but my rib just seems to be sore all the time. Again I don't know what it is but getting up in the morning is excruciating. Perhaps not moving for 8 hours has something to do with it. I have also noticed that it is starting to make a ugly, grinding, popping, gurgling sound whenever I take a larger breath. It doesn't really cause pain but the sound and feeling it makes is rather nauseating. Mom informed me that taking and staying on top of your pain is important so that the pain does not get unbearable. Lots of pain equals shallow breathing which could lead to pneumonia. Improvement does look to be hovering just over the horizon but it will still take a little time to get there.

Other things I have been up to is reading my new book "Grapes and Wine" by Oz Clarke. I am not really a wine drinker but the growing of grapes has intrigued me for a little while now. It probably started after I took that Viticulture class at the University of Idaho and then now with my planned trip to Napa Valley, California for the Vineman Ironman Triathlon. Which reminds me, I need to contact the race director (Russ Pugh who is a giant pumpkin grower [another old hobby of mine I might talk a little bit about later]) and see if I can possibly get a refund on my race. So back to grapes. Most viticulturists, I feel, are too concerned and fixated on the making of wine and drinking of the wine. The bottom line is that you need exceptional grapes to get an exceptional product. Most people don't realize just how important good grapes are. With my horticultural background I believe I could produce a superior grape given the time and space. I can do it with vegetables and flowers, why not grapes?

All this extra time has allowed me to get caught up and in control of my masters research project. I honestly forgot how much fun I have, pretending to be (oh wait, now I actually am) a "mad" scientist. I have been doodling in my notebook about potential experiments I can do in the greenhouse this winter with plant growth regulators (plant hormones). Currently I am working with ethylene and the ripening of cayenne chile peppers but my professor and I believe there is another plant growth regulator (or several) involved. Mainly abscisic acid. But most of you don't care so that is all about that insightful little essay.

Brianne and I have been on neutral terms for a little while now. I really miss her but she thinks that this is because I have all of a sudden had lots of time on my hands and I am probably just feeling vulnerable. I don't know. I have always enjoyed spending time with Brianne. She is very funny, outgoing, active, smart, pretty, and intellectual. She makes me feel good. Sometimes Brianne's moods can change so suddenly that they throw me for a loop and I don't know what to do other than just get away because nothing works. She can be downright mean and she knows just what to do and say to hurts my feelings. But she knows about these moods and she is working on it. We occasionally talk about these feeling and how to better control them. She is actually doing better. I am really happy for her and glad to help when I can.

Lastly, I have also been thinking a great deal about triathlon. I really truly do enjoy swimming, biking, and running, but the time it takes to excel at all three is almost foolish. Even if you are exceptional at all three and probably have what it takes to turn pro and possibly make some money, is it really worth it? For example, I really like gardening and spending time around plants. I also like photography, and reading, hiking, camping, traveling, and learning. Being so focused and single minded is also hard on relationships. Is one able to fulfill their life meanings and pleasures doing just one or two of their favorite things. For some it might be. For others... Is that what I want? At times I think it is. But now...? With this down time after the crash, I have had time to sit back (something I haven't done in a while) and think about where I want my life to go. What do I want? What is REALLY important to me?

So Now What Am I Supposed To Do

After the crash yesterday I have been steadily getting worse and worse. The pain yesterday was not to bad and I thought I was just going to be one of those super heroes that bounce right back after big injuries. Well this morning I couldn't bring myself to sit up and get out of bed. The pain had somehow intensified drastically since last evening and any small move I did resulted in a deep sharp stabbing pain to my left side. It was bad let me tell you. Not wanting to face up to the pain just yet, I laid there for the next 2 hours drifting in and out of sleep. I began to wish Brianne was sleeping next to me like she used to. I just wanted Brianne there. Someone to talk to and share my pain with. I started getting sad and then angry at myself for not treating her better, for not appreciating her. I didn't realize how much I missed her until she was gone. Finally I mustered up enough courage to stagger to the bathroom in excruciating pain to pee and go take a pain killer that I thought I was too tough for. Not now anyway.

Eating is also a major chore because I can not open my mouth very wide. My chin is swollen and sore. I am also scared that if I open my mouth too wide I will tear some stitches and start bleeding again. Yes life as of now is pretty awful. However, I did go to the book store the other day so now I can start some books I have been very interested in reading. I can also type all of this nonsense in my blog and feel good about it because I just took some Vicaden.

Changing gears I have been meaning to post some pictures about my new house. It is a great little find here in Las Cruces where housing is already dirt cheap. $650 a month with 4 room mates doesn't get much better. I have been slowly cleaning up the yard and planting plants all over the place. It is great to finally have a private place to play in the soil once again just like I used to do all the time living back home in Spokane, Washington.

I think I better end this entry there because I am finding it harder and harder to keep focused and think clearly. The Vicaden is really kicking in now. Bye for now. Is that even how you spell Vicaden?


The front of our new house.


The back of our new house. There is actually quite a lot of yard.


This is the side yard. I'm attempting to create a lush tropical grotto. Eventually it will get there.

15 Stitches is the Least of my Worries

This weekend I decided to do my first fresh time trial and second road race ever. It all started when I went to go ride with the local Zia-Velo cyclists here in Las Cruces. Most of the crew was going to be absent and those that were left were going to drive down to El Paso for a 30K bike time trial. Dave and Jason got to talking and convinced Taylor and I to go with them since they had two extra seats.

I had never done a fresh time trial but I thought it would be a terrific idea seeing as I could accurately gauge my fitness since it was about three weeks until the Vineman (my first ironman). Well the time trial went well. I ended up placing fourth in the 'A' category and fifth over all. Not bad. After the race (or maybe it was before?) Jason mentioned that there will be a 50 mile road race the next day. Were Taylor and I interested? Taylor and I though about if for a minute, then agreed. Nothing beats free race entry. You rock Jason!

So the next day we rolled off at 7:30 for the road race. It was a hilly little course that finished atop the Trans Mountain Road (the biggest climb in the area). I was excited the finish would be up hill since, one, I can't go down hills, and two, I can't sprint. Riding in a big group is still very scary for me. I would still rather be on the front setting the pace or strung out on a climb. Each time we started creeping up a hill I found myself near the front. I chased down every break and was working my ass off when Bret hollered at me to stop chasing every rider down and to basically chill out. Realizing that this is indeed an endurance event and not a sprint I backed off and just rode sensibly for a while.

Now coming up to the final hill our group was easily half the size it started out to be. Then, when nothing exciting in the world was happening and I was minding my own business...BAM! I was on the ground with intense pain and confusion. The rider behind me hit my head and down he went too breaking his collar bone. I laid in the position I landed in for a good minute before moving up off the busy road. My ribs hurt very badly and blood was gushing from my chin creating a small red pool below my head. The bike race was unquestionably over and before I knew it, I was in an ambulance heading to the hospital.

Cutting out some gory details I ended up breaking my left number nine rib and received 15 stitches in my chin including three or four very big deep ones. When I met back up with Taylor and Tim (who was kind enough to drive me home) we didn't even need to say anything. We both knew that the Vineman in three weeks would probably be out. How did this happen? Why did this happen? Why me? An Ironman is plenty to bite off if you are healthy, but with a broken rib? I just don't know.


15 stitches to the chin.

Los Alamos Bike Race

I have never done an actual bike race before but a few weeks before this one my good friend Pietre calls me up and asks if I want to do a bike race at altitude? We could even stay at his parents place. Heck yeah I replied. I have never been to Los Alamos, New Mexico. It was set.

I raced in the Cat. 4 and 5 group because I had no previous experience. The race was a 27 mile loop that we did twice totaling 56 miles or there about. Once at the starting line I became incredibly nervous and scared. I was nervous, not because of the distance or the pace I imagined, but the experience of the other riders (me included). Fortunately the first lap went fairly smoothly. Each time we climbed a hill it was easy to tell which riders would be strong later in the race. Being an observant rider you begin to pick up subtle clues about the individuals in the race. Are they breathing hard? Are their hips rocking? How do they look when they get out of the saddle? I actually found it rather interesting, much of the time sitting in, watching how our group was slowly loosing riders each time the grade and pace intensified. Half way through the last lap our group was probably down to 30% of the riders that started.

Knowing that the last half of the last lap was almost entirely up hill I was stoked! I knew I could climb hills like a mountain goat and watching the other riders for quite some time I was ready for a fight! Hmmm... Okay I am a big liar. At the bottom of the final hill I was quite spent from the efforts and the altitude and prayed the other riders were as tired as me. Then, suddenly, as I turned the final hair-pin corner at the absolute bottom of the hill I felt my rear tire slide out from under me. Narrowly avoiding the major disaster I looked at my rear wheel and saw... Yup... You guessed it. A FRIGGING FLAT TIRE! I didn't have a spare because I used them all up the previous week. (Another long sad story.)

I got picked up by the broom wagon shortly after my flat and got a ride back to the finish line where I met back up with Brianne, Taylor, Deanna, and Pietre. Yet another fun filled weekend was enjoyed by all. Now back into the car (that had not air conditioning I may add) for the 6 hour drive back to 100 degree plus Las Cruces. Oh, and don't worry Deanna, I promise I will get you that gas money.

Kansas 70.3

When I registered for this race earlier this year I knew that this was going to be the 'A' race of my season. As the race got closer and closer I became increasingly excited and a little nervous. Since the Memorial Herman Ironman 70.3 I knew I was in better swimming shape and running shape but I was still a little nervous about the bike. Flashing back, before the Memorial Herman 70.3 all I had done on the bike was ride my road bike (just like I did before the Elephantman and the Lake Havasu triathlon which were followed by great bike splits). Since everyone all along has been telling me to train on the bike you race on I, being the naive good little boy I am, listened. I knew I was going to have a great day at Kansas. I had done my homework well and felt confident going into this race.


My Aunt and Uncle graciously provided Brianne and I with a beautiful place to stay in Dallas on the way to Lawrence Kansas.

Race morning dawned calm and sweet but buzzing with a tremendous amount of energy and nerves from the spectators and athletes. As Brianne Loya and I walked the mile to transition one she whispered in my ear, "Hey! look who's behind you." I turned around and it was her. Yes the legend in the making, it was Chrissie Wellington! I wanted to go shake her hand and meet her but being completely star struck, I had nothing better to blurt than, "Hey Chrissie, you are really fast!" Oh well.

Like always the swim was divided into waves based on your age. I don't understand how they determine which wave goes first because they are all out of order. At first I thought the faster waves go first but then they sent the 25-29 year old men nearly last. One time it would be nice to not swim over the other waves but what else can you do. Regardless of the wave starts there is a wide range of swimming variability. Ugg. I am not sure why I keep talking about non-interesting stuff but I am stopping right now.

The water temperature was 78 degrees race morning and the race officials were seriously considering not allowing wet suits. They did in the end allow wet suits which was nice because I seem to get cold even if the water temp is 98.5 degrees. Now, jumping ahead a little, we are swimming the 1.2 miles and I feel pretty good. I managed to keep the lead swimmer in sight until we started plowing through the other swimming waves. At the turn around buoy I did actually start to get pretty warm. It is a good thing the swim was not any longer than it was because by the end I was definitely warmed up for the bike.

As the bike segment began I had mixed feelings. Should I hold back and save some Umph for the return trip or start working immediately? I didn't have to wait long for my decision because I felt like poo. In order to keep momentum moving foreword I had to start working hard immediately. Things just didn't feel right at the very get go. Unlike at the Memorial Herman 70.3 where going fast was easy and a piece of cake, here it was not so. My hammies and calfs felt tired, flat and a little sore. I tried to explain to them that today was not the day to go to the spa and lay on the couch but the day to kick a little Kansas ass. They unfortunately refused to listen. "Very well," I said in return, "Come on quads and glutes, we don't need any help anyway, we can do this on our own."

Despite the hilly course and feeling so-so, I guess I managed to have a pretty good bike leg. Although I should be happy about my improvement on the bike I think I am one of those people that always set high standards and thus is never satisfied. Still I was passed by only one person on the bike (in my age group I might add) but felt very confident going into the run.

Immediately once on the run something wasn't right. My stomach and guts had never felt heavier. I guess I was slightly dehydrated from the bike and I had one to many power gels. I drank some water at the aid stations but the water was not moving through. I felt like the Hoover Dam holding back a flash flood. I was ready to burst. Eventually the pain and discomfort became too much and I was forced to the first thing I had ever done in a triathlon run. I walked. At first I walked through the aid stations, but then I just walked. My race was over. RRRGH...!


Feeling like poo on the run.

Around mile 10 on the run a major wave of nausea hit me so hard and I began frantically looking for a private place to go relieve some pressure. There were people and spectators everywhere but I couldn't hold it any more. I walked over to a green electrical box and proceeded to give it a nice speckling texture of orange Gatorade. Now, feeling so incredibly light and relieved, I began to run once again. The last three miles felt great but I was too late. The Kansas 70.3 was over and it was time to pack it up and head home. There is always something to learn about these races.


Stopping somewhere in Kansas for a little fun. Note which way the cows are running.