Things have been interesting. Currently I am in that foggy twilight zone found between the chapters of my life. The job search is still going on. I have luckily heard back from a great vegetable and poinsettia nursery in Nipomo, California but it has been over a week since we last spoke and I am getting nervous. I really hope I didn't blow it on the phone interview. I know I am fully qualified and could do an amazing job for them. The only thing I am lacking is that little thing called experience. It is rather frustrating, you can't get a job these days without experience, and you can't get experience without a job. It is like a closed inside circuit. I suppose I could volunteer but then how do you pay the bills? Besides I have experience anyway, maybe it's not job experience but it's experience just the same. Perhaps I should start my own business. Who knows, maybe there is a market for old bikes draped in moss or something. In all, I am just lucky I still have Brianne and my parents to lean on in these hard times. But it is not that great, deep down it would be nice to be financially dependent.
Triathlon is hot on my mind too. I want to continue with my hobby but it is becoming more and more expensive. I need a trainer, Garmin, heart rate monitor, warm clothes, new shoes, etc... To keep improving and stay on track. Many people have asked me why I am not sponsored yet. It is good question but I always make up excuses like: I am not fast enough, I am not a professional, I don't want the extra pressure, I just do it for fun, or worst of all, sponsors will contact me if they want. This kind of thinking, I realize, needs to stop. I am fully capable of attracting and representing sponsors well. And to toot my own horn, I feel am able to compete well with the best of them (if I can just stay consistent and on track for more than three weeks).
So I wonder what will happen with my life; with Brianne's life? There are so many scenarios that can take shape. Will she go to graduate school here in Logan, UT? Will I get the job in Nipomo, CA? What happens if both happen? What happens if neither happen? Please, someone just let us know what is happening.
I hate hate hate "unknown futures" in life. Once I graduated college, got a job, got married and had a kid I thought the "unknowns" [and loss of sleep that goes along with unknowns] were over. But they aren't. They will never be. Unknowns won't be over until life is over and we all know we don't want that. Everything will work out, don't stress!
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