December

Sometimes I don't want to train. Then for a day, I enjoy doing things again. I feel motivated to get up early and go to masters swimming. Then, three days later I can't even seem to get out the door, even in the middle of a pleasant afternoon. I am so hard on myself that my lack of motivation seems to only make things worse. I haven't been to a doctor for a while but I'm fairly sure I suffer from seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Winters are just plain hard on me, both physically and mentally. All of my hobbies revolve around things that are warm and outside. Plants, cycling, camping, gardens, pumpkins, etc...

This past month I can't count how many times I've meant to get out the door for a run or to the pool for a few laps. On several occasions I even managed to get a few blocks down the road on a run before giving up and heading home. I was coming unraveled mentally. I had even made plans to pack things up and head home to Spokane to get my life back to a stabilized, sustainable, and most importantly, meaningful state.

Since the cold dark weather was really starting to wear me down and I had no other options, I decided to make the best of current circumstances and pay a little visit to the treadmill. My outdoor runs previously were slow and difficult (for me). My best effort to maintain an 8 minute mile pace ruined me. Once on the treadmill I began playing around with my heart rate and discovered that at my current outdoor pace, my HR was like 115. Here was proof that all my feelings of sorrow and self doubt were just in my head. Once I realized that my mental thoughts were dictating my pace over my physical ones, I dialed up the pace and discovered that I could maintain a more encouraging 7 minute mile pace at a more useful HR of 145. Pretty much my long run pace I was at last year!

So now the days are getting longer (finally), training is a little easier (mentally), and I am feeling well and warm at the moment. My swimming with the masters team and coach Emily (and Janet) is paying off, due to correcting my wide pull. My run is feeling smoother and stronger, and I'm ready to get the bike dusted off and humming once again. Yes, here we go, the beginning of the next chapter, isn't this exciting?

Our new rental house! Oh the memories. You bet there will be some plants around come spring.

Spruce is our new warm cuddly friend. He's a one year old Labrador x Husky. His hobbies include tug-of-war, fetch, growling at shadowy figures, and burying bones in the house.