Emotion

What are emotions? Why do we feel? What evolutionary advantage has being able to feel given mankind? Why are some able to control their emotions while others let theirs run amok? I have wondered about these questions for just about my whole life but the last several days they have particularly been fresh on my mind.

I have never been truly emotionally strong. It is just the brain I was dealt I guess and I do the best I can. For years my parents wondered why I cried and was sad so often. It wasn't surprising that later on I was diagnosed with depression. It all made sense. My mother had it, my grandmother had it, and my great grandmother had it. It is unquestionably scattered throughout my whole family. I was just one of the lucky receivers of the "faulty" gene. Doctors though that perhaps by taking a simple pill once a day could solve most of my symptoms. Well it worked and mostly, I am a happy person who takes great pleasure in life. I remembered how awful feeling sad and depressed was and I never wanted to go back.

Obviously I am not happy and energetic all of the time. Like everyone I get sad, mad, angry, and irritated. I know I can not help the way I feel but I CAN help how I treat others. No matter how badly I want to punch or yell at people sometimes, I don't. I have self control. If I can do it, I assume others can too. Maybe I am being self-absorbed because, again, as I see it, if I can do it, anyone can. I'm not talking about climbing Mt. Everest, or solving String Theory, just plain old self control. Am I wrong?

I have only been emotionally involved with two people in my life and both of them had some trouble (my point of view) keeping their mood stable. Are all people (particularly girls) really that emotionally unstable? I don't have much experience to base my theory off of but I am not like that at all, even though I have been clinically diagnosed with depression. Why am I able to keep my emotions on a relatively controlled leash while others let theirs run wild and rampant? I just don't get it. Up down up down up down, Let's ride the roller coaster again. I am getting sick.